Yeah, so you qualified for the 2012 African Cup of Nations? Okay, noted. We hear you.
This letter comes as a reaction to the fact that instead of planning your friendly matches, you are touring the country from South to North, East to West.. celebrating your victory.
We are sure that you know that in soccer, one man's joy is another man's misery. One team's victory means another team's defeat. While you are on the “high” and doing your joy-tour, we wish to bring the following to your attention.
MENA is going to AFCON with 9 points! Yes, that is 50% of possible points. Cape Verde, Cameroon, Uganda, Nigeria, and Malawi each have more than that and are home. It is only a reminder... we know you know.
We have a message from South Africa to you. Not only did you rob the Rainbow Nation of a place in the AFCON, you have dealt a blow on their national pride. You have exposed the “limit of the intelligence” of their Football Federation leaders. You have given them a very bitter after-taste. This blow is like pouring ash over the silver glimmer of the FIFA world cup which they so valiantly and brilliantly hosted.
There is also a message from from Nigeria. They have thousands of professional players. They had what it took to qualify and did not. Now everyone is comparing Niger and Nigeria. That makes Nigeria cry. The shared border makes it possible for people in Nigeria to smell your celebrations. Your victory reminds Nigeria of all of its failures.
Cameroon has sent their own missile to you. Niger does not have any “global star” like Eto’o. If you lost, there would not have been too much shame.. but now.. everyone is saying “Niger is there and Eto’o is absent’. Your victory is exposing the death of the old Lion.
Egypt says it wont forgive you. You must note that. In football, it may take 10 years, but some scores will be settled. In fact, Egypt will not only make you pay in soccer. In every sport where you will meet Egypt, be ready for a battle!
Finally, there is a message from FIFA and CAF. Yes. They have messages too. No, no, no. They are quite “congratulatory” about your qualification. They even have very positive things to say about you, and are actually hoping that you will go very far and maybe even show up for world cup in Brazil as you have started already dreaming.. Their message is simple: you only qualified for the competition. There are no trophies for qualification. The trophy is for the competition itself. Another way to say, this is only the beginning. You must now prepare for AFCON 2012.
Over here, we will fix our eyes on the draw of October 29. We are sure you know we are wishing you the “group of death”!
Signed: the miserable losers